When Helicopter Parents Touch Down—At College
Hovering moms and dads are following their kids all the way to campus.
On an August Sunday 35 years ago, I moved into my freshman college dorm. My parents traveled with me from Southern California to New England, helped me buy my first winter coat, snow boots, and even a houseplant the store clerk called "hard to kill." Then we went to campus. My new roommate invited me to shop for Blu Tack to hang posters in our room. I hugged my parents goodbye and headed out.
This was a typical start to college life in the 1980s. Parents waved from the curb, cried in the parking lot, and maybe sent a care package two weeks later. I scheduled weekly calls with my parents on Sunday evenings, using the dorm room’s landline before dinner. College was a time of rupture—messy but necessary—a transition from dependence to independence.
Today, this break looks quite different and sometimes barely looks like a break at all. A new term has emerged among college administrators: the trailing parent. These are mothers and fathers who follow their children to campus not just through daily texts about grades, clothes, or social drama, but physically.
- They rent apartments in cities like Atlanta, Austin, or Boston for four years, creating a pied-à-terre to enable frequent visits.
- Some even purchase condos in Washington, D.C., to stay nearby during their child's college years.
“The college experience was marked by rupture, the sometimes messy yet necessary transition from dependence to independence.”
The presence of trailing parents reflects a shift in the college experience, where the path to independence is increasingly intertwined with ongoing parental involvement.
Author's summary: Modern college life often involves "trailing parents" who physically stay near their children, transforming the traditional transition to independence into a more connected experience.