Dear Annie: I’m tired of my mom’s comments on my weight and appearance
In today’s Dear Annie column, a 28-year-old woman shares her frustration after moving back in with her parents due to financial struggles. She is grateful for their support but is weary of her mother’s constant remarks about her weight, clothing, and phone use.
Letter from Tired Daughter in Transition
“I’m 28 and recently moved back in with my parents to save money after a tough breakup. I appreciate their help, but my mom keeps commenting on my weight, how I dress, and how much I use my phone. Last week, she said I’d have ‘better luck’ if I wore makeup and ‘put myself out there more.’ I try to ignore it, but it’s wearing me down. I’ve gently asked her to stop commenting on my appearance, but she laughs and says she’s ‘trying to help.’ My dad usually stays quiet or tells me not to be so sensitive. I want to move out soon, but I can’t afford it yet. Do I have to endure this or can I get through to her?”
Dear Annie’s Advice
“Probably a little bit of both. Mothers often give unsolicited advice, but you might gain respect by setting a clear boundary: ‘Please don’t comment on my appearance. It’s not helpful.’ While she may not completely change, you can decide how much you engage with her remarks.”
“Please don’t comment on my appearance. It’s not helpful.”
For more advice, follow Annie Lane on Instagram at @dearannieofficial or visit Creators Publishing.
Author’s summary: Setting firm boundaries can help reduce emotional stress from unwanted family comments, even if change comes slowly.