## Coach Steve’s new book Coach Steve’s new book on youth sports is aimed at parents whose children play organized sports and are trying to navigate a complicated, often stressful environment. The book combines practical tips, emotional support and broader perspective so families can focus on growth, joy and relationships rather than only on wins and losses. Famous coaches and athletes contribute their viewpoints, sharing what they have learned about youth competition and parenting over the years. Their stories and lessons are meant to reassure parents that challenges like burnout, pressure and conflicts with coaches are common and manageable. ## Who Coach Steve is Coach Steve is the persona of Stephen Borelli, a longtime USA TODAY Sports writer and editor who has covered sports for more than three decades. Together with his wife Colleen, he has spent nearly 15 years deeply involved in youth sports as both a parent and a volunteer coach. Borelli has coached his sons’ baseball and basketball teams for about 10 years, gaining firsthand experience with team dynamics, parental expectations and kids’ changing motivations. His dual role as journalist and coach allows him to blend reporting, personal stories and expert voices in a way that feels both informed and relatable to parents. ## Origins of the book and column In spring 2023, as his older son Connor started his freshman season on the junior varsity baseball team, Borelli’s editors asked him to write a weekly column for parents of young athletes. The column set out to tackle the big questions parents kept asking about youth sports and quickly grew into an ongoing series on USATODAY.com and in print. Over time, these columns evolved into a broader project that became his youth sports survival guide, gathering recurring themes and lessons in one place. The book is positioned as a companion for families working through the youth sports journey, not as a strict rulebook with one-size-fits-all answers. ## Key questions the guide addresses The guide explores some of the most common dilemmas parents face when their kids become serious about sports. Among the core questions are: - When, if ever, should a child specialize in a single sport and stop playing multiple activities ? - What can parents do if they believe their child’s coach is ineffective or harmful to their development ? - Is joining a travel or club team worth the financial and time investment for their family ? - Why do about 70% of kids quit youth sports by age 13, and what can families do to prevent early dropout ? - How can children and parents understand the role of failure in both sports and life, and use setbacks as learning opportunities ? These questions frame the book’s structure, helping parents reflect on their own values, their child’s personality and what they actually want from sports participation. ## Focus on parental behavior One of the most persistent themes in Borelli’s work is the impact of parents’ behavior on the youth sports experience. He notes that while most adults mean well, their actions on the sidelines and at home can unintentionally create anxiety or embarrassment for their children. The book includes insights from referees and officials who often endure harassment from the stands and sometimes fear for their safety because of angry parents. Their experiences illustrate how adult emotions can overshadow kids’ enjoyment and can even discourage officials from staying in the profession, contributing to ref shortages. ## Voices from major coaches Several prominent collegiate coaches share their perspectives on what is going wrong and what can be improved in youth sports culture. Their comments highlight the tension between long-term development and the short-term obsession with winning in childhood. ### Brenda Frese on early pressure Brenda Frese, the University of Maryland women’s basketball coach and a national champion, discusses the dangers of focusing heavily on results at a very young age. She notes that while competition becomes more appropriate at higher levels such as college, early youth sports should prioritize learning, fun and personal growth over records and trophies. Frese worries that adult egos and expectations can distort the experience for kids, shifting attention away from development and enjoyment. Her perspective supports the book’s call for parents to keep youth sports in proper perspective and remember that childhood is a time for exploration. ### Steve Pikiell on relaxing as parents Rutgers men’s basketball coach Steve Pikiell offers a memorable answer when asked what he looks for in players: “Parents”. His point is that supportive, grounded parents often raise athletes who handle adversity better and contribute positively to team culture. Pikiell urges parents to relax, be grateful that their kids are active and not just sitting at home playing video games, and to let children simply enjoy playing sports at ages 8 or 9. He emphasizes that most kids at that age are not on a direct path to the Olympics, and sharing simple rewards like ice cream after games is often more valuable than overanalyzing performance. ### Kenny Blakeney on entitlement Kenny Blakeney, head coach of Howard University’s men’s basketball team, raises concerns about parental entitlement during the recruiting process. He explains that when parents display unrealistic demands or try to control every part of their child’s experience, it can damage both the athlete’s growth and the team’s chemistry. Blakeney says that he pushes back strongly against that type of behavior and is willing to walk away from recruiting situations where entitlement dominates. His stance reinforces the message that healthy boundaries and humility from parents are crucial as kids advance to higher levels of competition. ## Learning from mistakes The narrative also includes stories of parents who have lost their temper or behaved poorly at games, then reflected and tried to grow from those moments. One such example describes a parent ejected from a game, showing that even good parents can have lapses when emotions run high. The message is that a bad moment on the sideline does not define a person’s entire identity as a parent, as long as they learn from it and strive to do better next time. The book stresses the idea that everyone involved in youth sports is a “work in progress,” which can help reduce shame and open the door to more constructive behavior. ## Philosophical roots and John Wooden’s influence The guide draws on the philosophy of the late John Wooden, the legendary UCLA men’s basketball coach, especially his ideas about success and character. Wooden’s approach emphasizes effort, integrity and personal improvement rather than external results alone, aligning closely with the book’s central themes. By weaving in Wooden’s wisdom and other classic coaching principles, Borelli aims to shift parents’ attention from rankings and highlight reels to values like resilience, teamwork and humility. These principles provide a framework for parents to help their kids find purpose in sports that lasts beyond any season. ## Structure and purpose of the book The book essentially compiles Borelli’s youth sports columns, reorganizing them around dominant themes such as parental behavior, pressure, enjoyment, failure and long-term goals. Each section uses real-world anecdotes and voices from coaches, athletes, officials and parents to illustrate its points. Rather than promising a perfect formula, the guide invites readers to reflect on their own choices and to adjust gradually. The intention is to help families craft a healthier relationship with sports that fits their particular child and circumstances. ## Availability and audience “Coach Steve’s Youth Sports Survival Guide” is presented as a gift-style book suitable for parents, guardians and even young athletes who want to read along with adults. It is described as an ideal present for sports families, especially around the holidays, when many parents are thinking about gifts and upcoming seasons. The book is available for preorder and is marketed as a resource that can be returned to over multiple seasons as kids grow older and their needs change. Pricing details and order links are provided through USA TODAY’s channels and related promotional pages. ## Ongoing column and experience Borelli continues to write his weekly “Coach Steve” column for USA TODAY, using new questions and stories from readers to expand the conversation about youth sports. The column appears regularly on USATODAY.com and occasionally in print products like USA TODAY and USA TODAY Sports Weekly. His ongoing work ensures that the ideas in the book stay connected to current trends and challenges, such as changing youth leagues, new training habits and evolving expectations from schools and clubs. For parents, this combination of a stable guide and fresh commentary offers continued support throughout their child’s sports journey. > “We are all works in progress,” a core idea in the book, reminds parents and kids that mistakes and setbacks are part of learning, not the end of the story. ### Author’s brief summary A seasoned coach-parent and veteran sportswriter gathers real stories and expert voices into a youth sports guide that helps families replace pressure with purpose, patience and genuine joy in the game.

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USA TODAY — 2025-11-28